"What I must do, is all that concerns me, not what the people think."
My interpreted meaning of this sentence is sort of the epitome of self-reliance, in my opinion. Having my own obligations and "musts" be of the utmost importance, even above self-image, shows a self-reliance that most people in world, I think, lack. It's not about caroling only about yourself, that's downright selfish, but it''s about caring more about yourself than you do about other people's judgments. That's a big deal, actually. There are so many people that I know who don't do what they want to do because they are worried about their image and about what people will think. I have a friend who is a senior who wouldn't ask out a sophomore girl because he thought his friends would interpret that as an inability on his part of win any girl in his own grade. He really liked her, too, but that wasn't as important to him, I guess, as what his friends might think. Seems silly, doesn't it? (ps. now one can argue that "if they didn't support his decision, then they weren't really his friends at all" and, to an extent, that may be true but it's beside the point and should be left for another blog.)
I used to look at myself through this same lens. In middle school, most of what I did depended on the reaction I thought it would provoke from other people in my grade, and older kids. If I thought that it could win me cool points, I would pursue it. If I thought it might make me look lame, I would avoid it with complete determination, even if it was something I was sincerely interested in. I think that a lot of childhood is like that; you don't really know who you are exactly, so you depend on other people's reactions to formulate opinions about things. That's how fashion trends start, I think, for example. One person does something, gets a food reaction, and then everyone else wants the same reaction so they try to emulate that first person.
Now, I do spend a lot of time thinking abnout how others perceive me, but I can honestly say that, as of recently, I think that my necessities and my pursuits are of a much greater importance to me. I don't base my priorities on how I think other people will percieve me. Pretty frequently, I will do something and a handful of people will come up to me and ask me about it with a, "Really Jess?" kind of attitude, expecting me to come up with some kind of excuse or explanation. But I'm comfortable enough to be able to smile and nod, sincerely. It's really important, in my opinion, to be able to do that. There's a real confidence and a real self-reliance in being able to stick by decisions that you make. When you care more about "what people think" than what "I must do", I think it leads to a kind of unhappiness, or at least dissatisfaction. It's incredibly unfulfilling to depend on the opinions of others rather than to formulate your own. And, honestly, it's not that interesting to talk to someone who is focused on other people's perceptions.
I felt a real difference in myself when I started to apply this lifestyle to myself; it leads to a kind of self-reliance that is just right. It's not too egotistical and it's not too submissive. It's just right.
